Find out what a situationship is then take the quiz at the end of the page.
If you’re wondering if you’ve managed to get into a situationship then I’m gonna give you the low down to see your “situation” for what it really is. My life sucked so yours doesn’t have to, so I’m gonna lay out all that my broken heart learned while I was struggling through my last situationship. Are you in a situationship or nah? Take the quiz to find out. Don’t worry this is a judgement free zone.
So what is a “situationship” ?
A situationship ( which is a pretty awesome made up word) is a situation where you are stuck between a friendship and a relationship, with no show of future progression beyond that position. Usually in a situationship one person is wanting more while the other person is vague about the future or dragging their feet to move the relationship to a place of growth. More than likely if you are reading this then you are the party that is unhappy. You’re probably confused and stuck between thinking maybe that you are rushing them or if you are just wasting your time.
The key ingredients in making a situationship are:
l. No Commitment
The whole reason for dating in the first place. If you’ve been dating for a while and there is no movement towards this then you have to set up boundaries for yourself to get things to a place of movement in that direction. If you guys are always “talking” or “seeing where things go” it’s never a sure plan of what this person wants from you or where you stand in their future, consider this kick in the head #1.
2. Few to no dates
Situationships are meant to keep you in limbo FOREVA (Cardi B voice). So it’s possible you have been on a few dates but its not consistent. This doesn’t mean you don’t spend time together, it just means you aren’t experiencing things together. You can spend hours together but it’s usually when they want to and it’s usually just netflix and chilling or things that aren’t really considered dates. This is the tricky part of situationships you do just enough together to keep the “relationship” afloat but it’s never really going anywhere.
3. Only real bonding you do is through sex
There aren’t that many heart to heart moments or instances that make you feel that you and this person are bonding on a deeper level. You could talk about your lives but its always surface level. Now don’t get me wrong when you become intimate with someone and feelings get involved the connection can feel deep and strong. Do me a favor and subtract sex from the relationship for just a moment. What else brings you guys together? Don’t kill the messenger! I’m just tryna help.
4. No plans for the future
There are not talks of going on trips together or even where you guys are going to go next week. No talk of what their future would look like with you in it. In a situationship asking about what your future together would look like might start to irritate them. You could even feel afraid to bring questions about why your relationship isnt moving forward and where things are going. You will know how much a person wants you in their world when they plan things around you and make feel included in their lives. Let me learn you some knowledge. Real men make real moves.
5. They remind you that they aren’t in a relationship with you
If this doesn’t make you wanna pop them upside the head then idk, but it is a huge red flag. I had a guy who made sure to remind me that I wasn’t his girlfriend, the Lovely I am now would have chucked the deuces up to his ? real quick but I had very low self esteem. So I stayed around hoping things would change….. they didn’t. I just want to say your worth more baby.
6. You don’t see their families or friends
There is no taking you home to see mama, or going to a friends bar-b-que. You are a separate entity entirely from the people that are important to them. But this is a tricky one because depending on how long you are dating and who you are dating this could be a false negative. If its been over 6 months and you haven’t even seen a friend in passing then something is up. For me family is sacred so I have not introduced any guy to my parents but my sister has met all the idiots I’ve dated. I use that as an example because you need to know who you are dating and what their values are before jumping to conclusions.
7. There is no proof you guys are together for the public to see
- There are no cute photos on each others social media, maybe only in your phone. They wont allow you to post them and they dont mention you at all on thier social meida. And for all my naive babies out there, if a guy says he’s “private” and doesn’t like to post who he is with. Then double back to if you are meeting friends and family. If you feel like you’re a secret, then my dear that’s exactly what you are.
8. Trust yourself
- I can give you all the signs that could point to a situationship but ultimately your intuition would be more right in your situation than me. Your feelings never lie, what are they telling you? If you are feeling anxious, confused, unsatisfied, empty, alone, or sad while you’re supposed to be with them then you have your answer. Trust your gut!!!
In the end baby doll we can laugh and joke about the situation and take as many quizzes as lovely-ology and cosmopolitan magazine have to offer but what matters the most is if you are happy. That’s what all of this flirting, dating and putting yourself out there is for. To get the desired end result that makes your soul and spirit feel good. If your not happy then change your circumstances to create happiness.
Now that you’ve gotten the info on what a situationship is, are you ready to take the quiz??
Take the quiz below.
Share your results in the comments !!
Part two of the situationship series is what to do early on to avoid creating a “situationship. Stay tuned and don’t forget to subscribe to my ” Love letters” so you can be notified of my new posts.